Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ferrets for Better Cardiac Health

The average ferret sleeps 18 to 20 hours each day. It takes a mere two hours for a meal to exit the back end of a ferret. Like a cheetah, they have bursts of great energy followed by extreme sloth. I am becoming a ferret.

I did not choose this path for myself, but my husband in his great wisdom, purchased me an all-in-one, do it yourself exercise program. To get me into shape, it hijacks my life.

Six days out of seven, I gear up and stand in front the the television. What I experience is nearly as bad as Basic Training, but remember, when I went through Basic I was a full twenty years younger. A cheerful, bald masochist leads me in the most intense, muscle-burning, cardiac-wrenching workout I've ever done. At this point I am pathetically unequal to the challenge, but I'm hanging in there.

Once the exercises are over, I peel my carcass off the floor and it's time to eat...again. I have to eat five times a day. It's like it never ends. Just as I start to get something done, it's time to head for the trough again. I'm living on protein, roughage, and water. It seems like I'm spending all my time between the kitchen and the bathroom.

Rumor has it that when you exercise, you're supposed to have more energy. Maybe that's true for the younger generation, but given the opportunity, I'd be napping at every turn.

I'm only five days into this routine, so it would be unfair to assume that things won't change. I'm hoping to achieve better results than the muscle-twitching fatigue I've got going on now. The best news is that I get Sundays off. So, when we're not eating or using the litter box, the ferrets and I will be sleeping it off.

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