What REALLY Happens When You Exercise

I want to revisit the subject of exercise. I've made a few observations and feel they're worthy of recording.

1. No one ever wants to start exercising after enjoying a lifestyle of sloth.

2. "Because it's good for you" will never convince a person they should start exercising. You have to appeal to their vanity or remind them that one day they're going to die and if they don't get on the wagon, they'll get run down by it.

3. Once a person starts an exercise routine and sticks with it, they morph into an alien.

I feel the need to pause and discuss number three. Somewhere around week three euphoria sets in. You feel your entire life has a beautiful new veneer. You look better, your clothes fit, and your friends start to notice a difference in your appearance. You feel enlightened. You realize that the answer to any difficult question is exercise. Everyone should exercise. Your natural inclination is to start badgering your friends about their exercise routines. You can't help it. Someone says, "I've been having trouble with my back." A response leaps out of you, "You need to exercise." You continue, "I used to have the same problem, but now I exercise. It changed my life." You're no longer satisfied with just being healthy yourself, you have to assimilate others. Someone says, "My kids are stressing me out." You say, "you should try exercise." "I get headaches a lot" leads straight to "You need an exercise routine." "My dog won't stop crapping on my living room rug." Clearly, your dog needs to exercise.

Exercise is always the right answer.

4. Once you have become committed to an exercise program, you live in fear of illness or injury. Really, you are fearful of anything that might knock you off the wagon, because face it, you like being an alien.

5. Exercising regularly makes you want to go to the doctor for your annual physical. Every other year you've gotten the lecture from your doc about how you're NOT exercising, so this year you're ready to really stick it to him. This, of course, opens the door to ask him about HIS exercise routine.

6. Finally, exercising will tell you who your real friends are. You'll separate the wheat from the chaff. Your fair weather friends will simply avoid the new you, while your real friends will tell you outright that you've become a complete pain in the butt. You will hear such loving phrases as "shut up about your exercise, we don't care" or "you can only come in if you're not going to talk about those stupid workout videos" or "no, I don't want to see your ab muscles again."

There they are. Six shining reasons to start your own exercise program. Notice how they started out as observations, but they have become reasons to exercise. I can't help it, the aliens got me fair and square.

Exercise is always the right answer.