The Other Son

My brother-in-law once told me, "If we don't harness Nathan's powers for good, he's going to become an evil genius and take over the world." That's a heavy burden to carry, considering I'm his mother. I must admit, I was duly cautioned. My mom warned me about second children. "If the first one is easy, the second one will be the end of you." I didn't believe her.

Birth Order Theory is not an idea that I support, but I have to say, there is something to it. Those first children are responsible, law abiding, and so interested in justice. They're like little adults. The second child, however, is a different creature altogether. They are about joy. I've never seen a group of children happier in everything they do than second children. Why is that? It could have something to do with parents being more at ease with a second child. Or, it could be that we just "gave up" a little bit. I mean control.

Nathan is a joyful bugger. He delights in life. The high points of his day include badgering his older brother into a fit, tormenting the dogs, and weaseling his way out of homework. These all sound a bit dark, but he proceeds through each activity with ease and cheer.

I was talking with one of the youth group leaders at church. She was telling me what a fine job he's doing. He participates appropriately, listens carefully, and has beautiful manners. The bells and whistles go off in my head. "We are talking about Nathan? Yes, I'm Nathan's mom." We laugh together and I'm grateful for the encouragement.

Each morning, I wake Nathan up by getting into bed and talking with him. He pretends to be asleep and I pretend to smother him with a pillow or sick the dogs on him. I suppose it's unconventional, but this is Nathan. The first thing he says to me is: "I was really gassy yesterday." I have no idea where this is going. "Yeah, I farted huge during prayer time." I recall the lovely conversation with the youth leader. Yes, that was short-lived and now I'm back to reality. "It must have been really bad, because the kid next to me picked up his stuff and moved." He beams with pride. I am speechless.

Before I reserve my seat next to Stalin's mom in the Evil Leader's Hall of Fame, I consider his softer qualities. He is a sympathetic soul. Though he is a ruthless tease, he is heartbroken when someone is sad, sick, or hurt. Gift-giving is also serious business. Even if we give someone a gift from the family for a birthday, that is not good enough for Nathan. He will make or buy something to give just from him. At Christmas, his gifts sit unopened until each one of us has opened the gifts he bought for us.

I'm not exactly sure how to harness his powers for good. So far, his energy doesn't seem to be focused entirely toward the dark side. What is a mom to do? Be practical. I'll continue to be a diligent teacher, a fair disciplinarian, and try to remember that it's not illegal to fart in church.